How many times did I tell customers that back in my retail days? Multitudes of times a day. Does it make you feel any better?
Only if you close your eyes.
I
went to Addition-Elle today. Its a division of Pennington's and
Reitman's. I worked there for one month during that other time period
in my life.....the one in which retail stole my soul. They specialize
in clothes for sizes 14 to 24. Its been a long time since I've ventured
through that door.
Still.....the
number doesn't matter. If the clothes fit and look good and make you
feel good in them.....then who cares what number is on the label? Its
not like you're going to go around with a giant 20 in neon flashing on
your forehead. Its very difficult when you have every size in your
closet starting at a 12. Extremely difficult to admit this is where you
need to shop. Again.
I
also remember how hard it was to realize that I didn't need to shop in
those stores anymore. It was an incredible realization that I had when I
could walk into any store and fit clothes. It was a hard concept to
come to terms with as well. My body image was out of “whack”.
This
week I am in search of clothes for work. All I want are some things
that fit. Things that don't give me muffin top and things I can breath
in. Like I told the girl in the store today.....NOT Standing Up Pants.
You know the kind.....the pants that look totally awesome until you sit
down and they cut off all circulation. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty
sure my students would appreciate me not passing out all the time.
I
did not find pants today. I did come home with a sweater set and a
casual shirt along with some matching jewelry. I tried on items in
sizes ranging from 1X to 3X. And you know what? That number didn't
really matter after all. I found things that fit and fit my lifestyle
and I did feel good.
I have come to terms with where I am now. This is the body I am living in at this point in time. I cannot change the present.....only my future.
At
work on Thursday I talked with coworkers about my thyroid condition.
“Bob” says “You look the same to me.” And I laughed. “That's because I
just saw you on Monday!” I replied. But really what it is.....is that
I'm beginning to understand that my circle of friends love me whether
there's a big ol' X on my shirt or not. They look beyond it and see me. And if they can do that.....then I can too.
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