A Recipe & Midnight Madness

In what feels like another lifetime, I worked for one year as Assistant Manager of Warehouse One, which is a Canadian clothing retailer.  The shopping mall was a destination back than and big box retailers weren't yet where we all demanded to shop and we definitely weren't choosing online shopping either.  It was the mid 2000's and at Christmas time the mall was a fun and festive place even though I'd not wish working retail at that time of year or any really on anyone.  One big event leading up to Christmas was Midnight Madness.

Midnight Madness happened on a few weekend evenings in the month of December leading up to Christmas.  Each store would stay open well passed the regular 9pm...until 1am instead and many would have special deals for that time period.  It was nowhere near as hectic as Boxing Day was but still a stressful time for anyone having to work in a store.

At the far end of the mall was a Starbucks.  Myself and a coworker were working this late night shift and we were both concerned for staying awake and alert.  For some oddball reason we both thought it would be a good idea to buy chocolate covered coffee beans.

You probably see where I'm going with this.

Starbucks used to have little boxes of these coffee beans right by the cash register along with mints and biscotti.  I don't think they have this anymore and if they do I haven't noticed.  These were obviously nice little add ons if you were purchasing a latte or cranberry bliss bar.

The chocolate covered coffee beans did indeed keep us awake and alert...not only for the Midnight Madness but for the entire night.  We both vowed to never do THAT again and told the legend to all our others coworkers.  It's a story I found myself telling a few students last week which they all found highly amusing.

Even though I will likely never have chocolate covered coffee beans again, I did love those cranberry bliss bars and still do.  Starbucks has changed the recipe so a few years ago I scoured the interweb for a copycat recipe.  What you'll find below has become a staple in my holiday baking every year.  I've tweaked it several times but decided to finally write it out instead of deciphering my cryptic notes in my home made family cookbook binder.

I'm sharing it all with you.  Feel free to click on the recipe photo and save it to your devices.  Let me know if you make it as well!

* If * you do try it make certain to not skip 2 important steps.

1) Make absolutely sure you coat the baking pan with cooking spray and coat with flour.  If you don't you wont ever get it out of the pan.

2) You most definitely will need to coat your hands with cooking spray to pat it down and stretch it into the pan.  The batter is EXTREMELY sticky so if you don't you'll be covered in it.

The original recipe was in an 11X17 baking pan but I don't have one that size and I'm pretty sure it's not a standard size either.  My recipe is 9X13 which is a size we all own.  This makes the bars a little thicker and the Starbucks version.

My oven runs hot so regardless of what I think they get removed at 20 minutes.  I'm going to caution you as well...they may not look cooked but trust that they are.  If they are over baked they become very crumbly.

Enjoy and happy baking!

Music Teachers | Teaching in a Time of Covid

I contemplated writing a blog about the Blizzard of '07 but honestly there wasn't a lot to tell.  It was a huge blizzard which shut down the city.  We canceled our music students for the day (it might have been two days) and we did make up lessons later on.  It's an event a lot of people recall.  I think it was a Wednesday.  That's really all there is to that story.

Tuesday March 17th will always be a date I remember. Not because it was St Patrick’s Day, but because it was the first time ever that I had to teach piano lessons virtually and boy, was it a steep learning curve. 

The previous week the first case of Covid19 was announced within the city.  That evening I stopped at the Shoppers Drug Mart on the way home to pick up some milk.  There was a sign on the door that said they were already sold out of hand sanitizer, masks and toilet paper.  It was surreal inside the store.  There was a man with a shopping cart looking for the sold out items and kept badgering staff because it seemed like he didn't believe they were actually sold out.  I got my milk and continued on home.

The next day at work, parents were already concerned and students were cancelling lessons.  Rumours were circulating that the schools were going to be shut down the following week.  It was a very odd time.  Us teachers stood distanced from each other in the showroom talking about what was going on.  Over the weekend, there was a discussion about the Academy closing its doors or how this was all going to be handled.  At the time we believed it might only be a couple of weeks but minute to minute and hour to hour things changed.  I suggested we attempt to teach via Skype as I'd heard others were doing it.  Sunday night it was decided that Monday the 16th would be the last day we'd teach in person and we'd begin notifying our students that Tuesday lessons would be moved online.

Over the course of 3 days over 600 students were notified by phone call and set up with skype accounts.

I had gotten an iPad for Christmas and had subsequently purchased a tripod which would hold it.  My digital Technics piano was in our home office, also known as the Star Wars room.  What complicated everything was that Hubby was also sent home to work for the first time on the same day.  We couldn't work in the same space as our hours overlapped.  We moved his computer to the basement and purchased all the necessary equipment he required.

It took me a week to bring home all the materials I needed from my classroom.  That first week, I took a ton of notes and transcribed them all onto my laptop.  What became very apparent was that I had taken for granted the ease of phrases like "play that part again" "look for bar 10" or just being able to count along with students playing.  I couldn't just point at something.  Students had to become so much more self sufficient and be ready with pencils and markers and highlighters to make corrections for themselves.  They also had to take the homework notes.  Some students did very very well but it was also really hard for others.  Sometimes calls would drop or they wouldn't be online on time.  It was crazy but then wasn't everything.

School had been cancelled so I saw students suddenly practicing who hadn't worked very hard before.  I heard from parents how grateful they were that we had online lessons to look forward to because as wild as the times were the piano lessons gave a sense of normalcy.  The feeling was mutual.

We taught virtually from March 2020 through the summer until the end of August 2020.  In the summer because my schedule was reduced we moved my piano to the basement and Hubby moved his office to the Star Wars room, where he still works to this day.  At the end of my work days, I'd come upstairs and holler "I'm home!" and we'd laugh.

Miraculously, I myself only lost a handful of students.  In September, donned in mandatory masks and with cleaning protocol in place, we returned to in person teaching while some students and teachers chose to remain online.  I was so thankful to not have to deal with technology anymore.  

On one particular day my mask was snug and I complained to my student how it was flattening my nose.  I said "what will you say when we don't have to wear masks anymore?"

He replied, "my, you have a flat nose".

Spoiler.  He didn't.

We adapted so quickly and now working virtually is a way of life.  We jump online through Skype or Zoom with ease.  We held festivals and concerts online and while that's fading away working virtually will always be an option now.  Those few months changed everything.

Music Teachers | The Time I Broke A Piano

 

All was fine until I went to work. Over that weekend, the piano that was in my classroom was loaned out for an event, an accountant’s convention apparently. I didn’t have an issue with that, after all I didn't OWN the Technics PR54 which happily resided in my classroom, but I felt like it was mine. I used it every day.  I no longer teach anyone who would remember that music rest Christmas paper wrapped piano, but if you do, you must be very special.

What I am about to relate to you will no doubt surprise you as much as it did me!

With that in mind, here is what happened on that Monday when I arrived at work to my classroom. My piano was not in its correct location.  There were two windows separated by a length of wall. I simply preferred the piano to be centered on that wall. I don’t think that’s a crazy demand. Things should be symmetric, that’s all. I barely needed to move it a foot.

This had happened before and even now isn't unheard of. When the piano wasn't in the rightful symmetric-wall-centered position I'd simply push or pull it back into place. It wasn't a heavy piano since it’s an electric/digital piano. I’ve helped move pianos in concerts and festivals for years! I am not new to moving things to and fro. 

Another tidbit of information which you need to know is that I am not a very strong person. I can lift some things. Move some furniture about in my house. But I don’t have what you could call brute strength. I am not Bam Bam. Nor Paul Bunion. 

So I grabbed onto the end and tugged. I did not turn into the Incredible Hulk when I pulled on the piano. But do you want to know what happened? Maybe I shouldn’t tell you….  The end of the casing of the piano came off in my hands! 

AHHHHH! I am so fired, I thought. 

At first, like Ralphie trying to get away with icicle broken glasses (oh my gawd, I shot my eye out) in the Christmas Story, I thought I could just push it back on and no one would be the wiser. Nope, it didn’t work. I stood back and surveyed the damage. The end of the piano had been held together with simple doweling.  The wires were hanging out the end.  It looked really bad.  REALLY BAD.

 
I am so fired.

I went and got Sharon from the front desk. Sharon was the receptionist, book keeper, maintenance man, carpet cleaner and all around handy-man, but I have to stress she is a very good friend. 

“Sharon, can I talk to you in my classroom for a minute.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Um, you really have to come here.”

“Can you just tell me?”

“Um….” Me, trying to spit it out. “I kind of wrecked the piano!”

She walked with me to my classroom. Her assessment of the situation? “OH MY GOD!”

Luckily, I was able to teach in another room that day. Also luckily, the academy director, boss and owner and her husband were away and wouldn’t find out until the next day.  Did they ever find out?  I guess they will when or if they read this! 

But here is just how good of a friend Sharon is. It bothered her so much that she couldn’t get a hold of the piano repair person that she went in on her own time, dismantled my piano, crazy glued it and put it back together again. All the King’s horses and all the King’s men did put the wrecked piano back together again! I didn’t know that she did this until a while afterward. Sharon retired twice, maybe three times and probably didn't get a lot of the glory at the Academy, but she was the glue that held so many things together.

Literally.

Just like the Mom in the Christmas Story when Ralphie got in the big fight and had to wait until the Dad came home. Sharon softened the blow. Ralphie didn’t get killed and I didn’t get fired. By Friday we were all able to laugh about it and now many years later it barely seems like it happened. 

What I know for sure is that I will never ever EVER touch that or any piano to move it again. If it is sitting in the middle of that classroom I will teach in the middle of the classroom. I will not pull, push or tug. Will I cringe?  Oh yes I will!  Because just recently, I went in to work, a Tuesday this time, to find a new Roland digital piano in the middle of my 2023 classroom.  

Was I going to move it?  

Heck no.  Not on your life.

Music Teachers | A Blog Appendix

This is a comprehensive list of links (appendix or table of contents) to all the blogs I've written about my musical journey including teachers, training and experience.

Elementary School Band

My Rockin' Organ Lessons Part 1

My Rockin' Organ Lessons Part 2

Klassical Karen

The One Who Didn't Like Me

Meet Mrs Sandra

The Time I Broke a Piano

Teaching in a Time of Covid

Music Teachers | Meet Mrs. Sandra

We aren't supposed to have special students.  When asked we will deny that we think of some students over others.  We treat everyone the same and have the same expectations but it would be a total lie if I didn't admit that some students find a way into my heart unlike others.  There's been a few over the years but I won't name names.  You know who you are. 

If you've followed this series of blog posts then you'll know I played clarinet in elementary school and started organ lessons at the age of 12 which is late for most keyboard students.  At age 17 I began teaching keyboard and working to get my grades with the Royal Conservatory in piano.  I taught for several years in my home town before moving here in 2001.

At that point, I was feeling burnt out so I took a job in retail.  I worked my way into management but never really got the respect I thought I deserved for my work.  So, in 2005 I approached a teaching colleague and she hired me on the spot saying "what took you so long to come see me."  I took over the Monday to Friday teaching slot at the Academy of Music and that was that.

I realized this was my true calling.  The first day I returned to teaching gave me feelings like Scrooge waking on Christmas morning.

I've taught so many people over the years ranging in ages from 3 to 83.  People tell me I'm a good teacher and while I feel confident it's hard to believe them when you keep striving to be better and better versions of yourself.  Students come and go but it always amazes me when someone approaches me and says I was their piano teacher.  Students grow up and change and teachers remain mostly the same.  A few years ago I had this exact thing happen.  A young lady at an outdoor concert kept staring at me.  Finally she confessed that I was her piano teacher.  I said "forgive me, but I don't recognize you."  She told me who she was and yes, of course I had taught her!  I've had this happen in stores and other places around the city too.  I’ve also had the experience where a student said “you taught my dad” and yes I did.

I am rather oblivious to the year gap.  The most popular age for a student to begin is age 7.  I see them once a week and while I know they're growing up, suddenly they can drive and in a flash they have boyfriends and are starting university.  That is, if I've had the pleasure of teaching them that long.  Many many students often quit lessons in high school but there are those special ones who keep going.

How blessed am I to know these young people for so long!  I've had a couple of these special people become teachers as well.  I feel a lot of pride for their accomplishments but its also bitter sweet.  My encounters with them make me a better teacher and have made me strive to be better year after year, exam after exam and festival after festival.  I'm happy for them but always a bit sad too for the end of a relationship which honestly is a big part of my life but a miniscule part of theirs.

Some days are good and some are bad.  Some students come to lessons emotional after school or elated over something else.  I hear a lot of things from students and probably things that might make their parents shudder.  I tell them stories, I ask about their day, ask what's new and always wish them well on their way out the door.  They're free to talk and show honesty with me while getting down to the business of learning to play and appreciate music.

My main goal for my students is to make me obsolete.  They should be able to learn, play and perform without me.

It's the end of an era when a special student moves on.  I’m sure it’s far harder on me than it is on them. Meanwhile, I continue to do what I do.  I make everyone feel special.  I share the love of music everyday.  The rewards are far greater than I ever could have imagined.

So when your kid says they want to take music lessons.  Please, please do everything in your power to support them.  Buy the books, buy the instrument, and show up at every event they're in.  

And, take pictures all along the way because you just never know where it's going to lead.

Music Teachers | The One Who Didn't Like Me

In my last blog about Music Teachers I walked about Karen.  I did my Grade 5 & part of Grade 8 with Karen.  If you go back and read, you'll understand the impact she had in such a brief amount of time.  When I completed Grade 6, I did that with Candace Sorenson and while it went fine I can't say it was particularly memorable and the couple memories I have were of when her dog died and when I competed in the festival.  That's no slight against her at all.  It's what it was.  When Karen needed to move after I'd learned three quarters of the Grade 8 material and already registered for the exam, I had to search out a new teacher to help me get the rest of the way.

I had one lesson with a lady who picked apart every single piece I had learned to the extent that I was supposed to work on my hand position and gestures.  Um no.  No time for that whether it was necessary or not.  I found it pretty ironic that she had incredibly long fingernails that prevented her from actually having great hand position and yet here she was commenting on mine!  I have no idea what her name was and I left her house with a determination to find someone else.

I got a list of Registered Music Teachers in the area.  One name stood out because her husband had been the band teacher (remember I quit band after grade 7) at my high school.  Mrs. Gibson.  She had a warmth about her, was small in stature and had short grey hair.  I'd go into the basement of their bungalow where there were some couches to wait and two baby grand pianos amongst shelves and filing cabinets of books.

Mrs. Gibson was a good teacher but she had a very cutting way about her.  My perspective is that she likely had a lot of students who excelled and while I always thought I was average I do realize now I wasn't.  She was the one who made me feel that way.  She told me things like how I needed to practice 4 hours a day.  She said things like "I thought you knew what you were doing." when I'd got 91% on my theory exam and not 100%.  She made me file my nails as short as they could be because they tapped on the keys and encouraged me to remove all rings and watches so 'I could be free'. 

I often describe her as "the one who hated me" even though I chose not to title this blog in those words.  It's possible she did like me or at least tolerate me. I know she didn't like that I was already teaching.  She didn't like that I played on keyboards.  She didn't like a multitude of things about me.  I never got to hear about the things I did well.  The drills on scales I won't ever forget nor will I ever teach them that way.  None of these things I took forward with me in my own teaching.

I received a 75% on my Royal Conservatory Grade 8 exam.  I thanked Mrs. Gibson and never looked back.  

I thought for a long time that 75% was a poor mark.  Many many years later and after putting my own students through multitudes of exams I have gained an understanding that it was actually a pretty good mark and that even the most exceptional of piano students only got marks in the 80's.  You see they mark in a way that means you have to prove your worth and show why you deserve the mark.  I spent a long time thinking less of myself.

But who really cares because I got the certificate and I've spent 30+ years teaching music.

A few years ago, I saw Mrs Gibson at a Royal Conservatory seminar.  I was shocked.  She still looked the same.  I didn't talk to her and she didn't recognize me.

Let It In

I had wanted to write a blog about our 30th anniversary and the Christmas that followed our wedding.  Truth be told I don't remember lot's about the Christmas at Fredlund's house and feel like I should because most people in Hubby's family recall that as THE Christmas.  Maybe it was because I was so new to the family and it was just all overwhelming.  I'm not sure but when I think about it I also think about all the family members who aren't with us anymore and that reminds me that even though I've been trying to share all kinds of heartfelt things on this blog, the holidays are not full of happy memories for everyone and some people are living with celebrating a first Christmas without their loved ones.  We are also that family.

It's been a year.  That's all I can say.  2020 was a cakewalk compared to 2022.  Stay at home and bake brownies all the time while working from home?  Sign me up because back then everyone was well in my family and safe.  2022 was a year where I didn't dare ask 'what next' and kept saying over and over God will not give us more than we can bare.  

It's been a test of Faith.  When the pandemic hit, we stopped attending church like most people.  We keep saying we need to go back but haven't.  We've watched like many do on YouTube.  I know attending church is important but I also think praying in the quiet stillness of home is what's helped me endure.  I'm reminded that no matter how messy our life is, God is there to help us pick up the pieces.  And man, 2022 has been messy.

I've had to lean on a lot of people.  Of course my family and friends were there for us but it was my coworkers who probably should get an award for the amount of venting they've endured!  At the same time, wow, what special people they are.  They listened without judgement and it really meant a lot.  The ice cream cake for my 50th birthday, which should have been a fun day, was amazing but happened during a time of grief and misunderstanding.  The Moderators on ABC Rider Fans just took over when things got really tough and they listened and listened and listened some more.  It's because of all of these people that when the holiday sparkle was slightly ignited back in November, I decided to let it all in.

Hectic Holidays

There's a Christmas mash-up medley that I love to teach called Hectic Holidays.  It's got snippets of every well-known Christmas carol and a few surprises too.  The idea of the song is to mimic what it's like to dash from store to store while Christmas shopping and hearing the songs being played in each store.  It's a great arrangement but not the easiest to pull off.

I was a piano teacher for about 10+ years when we moved and instead of continuing with that career at the time, I chose to work in retail.  If there's anything more fun than shopping for yourself, then its helping other people shop!  I worked for a women's clothing retailer which specialized in sizing from 4-24 and is no long in business.  Before I worked there, I shopped there, and one of the perks was the employee discount and of course you were made to wear the clothing while working.

The holidays were especially crazy and fun to work.  There were lots of specialty items that would be marketed just for season.  The polar fleece sweaters with adorable festive prints were favourites for many.  Wives would come in and set things on hold for their husbands to come do their Christmas shopping later on.  Some poor forlorn husbands would rush in on Christmas Eve expecting to still find the sweater their sweetums saw back in November and we'd have to tell them no, sorry, that's sold out.

The store would hire special staff just for the holiday rush and for the chaos that ensued on Boxing Day.  The change rooms always looked like a bomb went off.  Shauna was our fitting room guru.  I'd never seen someone create such magic in the helping and clearing of the change rooms.  I'm not sure I've even seen it since!  I have some really great memories of that time and sometimes I can still feel what it was like to be in the store at closing time, cleaning and folding in the quiet, and what it sounded like to close the door at the end of the day.

When I'd moved on to management with a different Canadian retailer, the mall held Midnight Madness.  The stores would stay open until midnight, and we'd all have to take turns working a shift once.  I remember one particular time we were lacking energy and maybe for some reason it wasn't that busy at that particular time, so I went down to the Starbucks on break and returned with chocolate covered coffee beans.  Myself and my coworker ate them, and the result was energy alright but also insomnia for the rest of the weekend!

I worked in retail for about 5 years when the fun left and the hours and staff drama started to get to me.  I remember walking into the music school and the director at the time asked, "what's taken you so long?" Teaching was really my calling and I'd gotten several signs that I was indeed meant to return to it.  While that's still true these many years later, I still try to be kind when I'm shopping and even the other day a cashier complimented me for being so patient with her.  I've been on that side of the counter and there's no point getting upset.  It doesn't prove nor solve anything.  If we can't be kind during the holidays then really, when can we be?

I've noticed a real return to non-covid shopping this year.  In my excursions parking lots are once again full and stores are bustling, and the Christmas tunes are flowing.  It's so great to see that maybe Christmas doesn't all come from an Amazon box after all.  If you are out and about doing your holiday shopping, soak in the atmosphere, be kind and thank your frazzled retail workers.

10 Thought Tuesday ~ Back to Work ~

I've neglected my blog.  *hangs head*  So today when I got the writing itch and am feeling a little down over having to head back to work after my two months of summer vacation, well, what better way to get back in the groove?! 

1.  Hubby says "It's time to go make some  money."  He's right.  I am priviliged to get this time off.  We are blessed to have a lifestyle which allows me to take the time off.  It's something I look forward to and time I cherish.

2.  I went to two football games. I came home with bruises both times.  The first game I smacked my thigh on the metal thing on the back of the bleachers.  I got a big honkin' bruise which took weeks to go away...about that time we went to another football game where I repeated the action.  Most people get bruised from playing the game and not merely watching it.

3.  I went to a three day "classic" rock concert....but only took in 2 days.  The even was called Rock the River and took place at the Bessborough Hotel overlooking the South Saskatchewan River.  I saw Doug & the Slugs, Harlequinn, Honeymoon Suite, Lee Aaron, Sweet & Dr. Hook.  It was fun.  We didn't do the third day because of rain.  My only issue really was the venue.  There were tons of abandoned lawn chairs leaving no place for people to set up their own.

4.  We went to a family reunion at my In Laws.  It was the first time in probably 10 years that everyone was together.  We had a pig roast and tons of visiting time. 

5.  I spent a week with my parents.  My Dad had cataract surgery and I went to help out.  He recovered famously and appreciated my help.  Mom and I did a little shopping and we did a little eating out.  It was great.

6.  I found a routine.  During the regular school year and with my altered evening hours I don't get to do much in the way of "wife".  I loved the routine of suppertime being at a normal time.  I enjoyed our evening treat of  yogurt and berries.  My favorite part of the day was between 4:30 and 5 when I was waiting for Hubby to come home from work.  It all felt so good and normal.

7.  I got my health back.  In early August, something "clicked" and I drastically changed my eating habits.  Two weeks later I began feeling really really good...better than I've felt in years.  My doctor was pleased with my changes.  I've kept on.  I bought a scale and I've lost 16 pounds!  I'm so shocked and happy!  The hypothyroid girl *can* lose weight!

8.  I've been watching Criminal Minds.  I watch a couple episodes every evening.  I'm on season 6 currently.  I don't know what happens to summer tv.  It's either reruns or reality shows.  Thank goodness for the interwebs.

9.  I bought new cleaning impliments.  That might not mean much to some and trust me, I hate housework as much as the next guy.  BUT what I had just wasn't working and who is ever going to clean anything when you hate your mop?  Now I can scoot around cleaning and it isn't an all day chore.

10.  I just feel content and rested.  People are going to ask me what I did on vacation and yes, I've got a few things to tell them, but really this is the most important thing to me because I feel sane again!  I know that I can take on anything.  Even though I feel like I'm going into fall kicking and screaming I really do feel that I'm in a very good place and I can successfully wear that teacher hat once again.

Hope your summer was fantabulous and that your back to school day was amazing!

The Time I Sold My Soul To Retail

In what feels like another lifetime, I was a sales associate in a woman's clothing store.

Hubby and I had just built our dream house and I needed to supplement my income to contribute more to the mortgage.  Normally, I would take the summer off from teaching, but that summer I got myself a part time job at Cotton Ginny.  I shopped in that store.  I loved the clothes.  The people I worked with felt like family.

It was good that I had that part time job because when Hubby was transferred to Saskatoon my job at Cotton Ginny was able to transfer too.  I needed a break from teaching piano.  No one understood how burnt out I was but no one talked me out of working retail.  It was an easy job for me.  It was like shopping except I didn't have to buy the clothes!  I worked hard.  I was loyal.  I was told by the District Manager that what I did for the store did not go unnoticed.

My position was considered part time even though I had been getting full time hours.  What I didn't know when I transferred was that I had taken someone's spot who was on maternity leave.  This person, I called "Friend" and we worked together, but as I later found out, she held a grudge against me for taking over her position.  I had no idea all this was going on.  The manager.....it was a revolving door.....liked to play games.  She liked to try to make me look bad and she liked to do things behind people's back.  In my time working for the company there were 3 managers at this store and this one was the final manager.  I can't imagine she was a likeable person in other areas of her life.

That summer, the company began reorganizing.  We were told that they were creating an Assistant Manager position in our store and everyone else would be part time and given no more than 20 hours a week.  Imagine that!  After having full time hours.  What a kick in the butt.  What happened was I was pitted against Friend.  There were many things I did that were considered my responsibility that she didn't know how to do.  It was poor timing, but due to a family engagement I went on a weeks holiday.  When I returned, Friend suddenly knew all of these things.  Not only that, but she flaunted her new knowledge in my face.

We interviewed for the job.  Friend got the job.

Manager told me that she had wanted me to get the job but staff found me condescending.  Right.

So I gave notice and got an Assistant Manager job in the store across the mall hallway.  I worked there a year.  Being an Assistant Manager was a good and yet horrible experience.

I saw the Music School Director in the mall one time.  She said to me, "You're working here?  Come see me."  Well, that wasn't the immediate sign that made me go see her, but it wasn't long and I did.  It was obviously meant to be because a full time piano teacher had just up and quit.  I was immediately hired and given a full schedule of students.

I worked retail for 5 years in total.

I used to miss the comradery.  I liked chatting with shoppers.  I loved having a new wardrobe all the time.  I gained much more though.  I gained weekends and holidays off.  I gained a shorter work day with more money.  Most importantly I got my life back.

Cotton Ginny closed.  The company went bankrupt.  I saw Manager and Friend move from store to store within the mall.  Staff seemed to do that in search of a better job.

This whole experience happened about 8 or more years ago.  Today, I went shopping at that very mall.  Some of the stores have changed.  I was shocked to look in the Dawgs shoe store to see Friend hustling her butt in her retail way.  At another time, I might have stopped and said hello.  Not anymore.  I've moved on.  It makes me sad because I wish she could have as well.  If she was so determined she should have tried for something better.  I can't imagine....even fathom....still working retail and being the person I am now.  I know that teaching piano is what I was truly meant to do with my life.

My manager in my home town said to me, "You are better than this Sandra."  I didn't understand what she meant.

But now I see it.....

.....and she was right.

A Venting Blog

I'm tired.

I'm tired of feeling sick.  I'm tired of being sick.  I'm tired of aches and pains and things I can't even describe.  I'm tired of not being able to talk to anyone about them.  I'm tired of keeping my feelings inside.  I'm tired of people wanting things and not working for them.  I'm tired of worrying about my health.  I'm tired of worrying about my dog.  I'm tired of not getting support.  I'm tired of feeling alone.  I'm tired of being over weight and even more tired about talking about it.  I'm tired of having to think about what I eat.  I'm tired of having to do all the cleaning.  I'm tired of having to do all the cleaning again and again.  I'm tired of socks on the floor.  I'm tired of asking to take the garbage out. I'm tired of spending evenings alone.  I'm tired of tomatoes.  I'm tired of people inviting themselves into my space.  I'm tired of people taking me for granted.  I'm tired of being the one to suck it up.  I'm tired of being the nice one.  I'm tired of not being special.  I'm tired of being responsible.  I'm tired of not being about to cut loose.  I'm tired of snoring.  I'm tired of not being able to give these things up.....of not letting go.  I'm tired of praying and not praying.  I'm tired of having to think of others before myself.  I'm tired of not being me.  I'm tired of not having time.  I'm tired of a routine that doesn't work.  I'm tired of trying to find a routine that does work.  

I'm just so plain freaking tired.

Calories

No.  This isn't a diet blog.  In fact, it might be the opposite of a diet blog.  Last night I went to a restaurant called Calories for a going away party for coworkers.  This was not hosted by the school director and was a "gathering" instead.  There are actually about 5 coworkers/teachers who are not returning for the 2012/13 school year but this party was really only for 2 of them.
  

Calories is located on the artsy-fartsy street of Broadway.  Yes, there is a Broadway here and it's not even New York.  Broadway is known for places like The Bulk Cheese Warehouse, the Broadway Theatre, The Better Good, The Mad Hatter and so on.  I managed to find a parking spot at the end of the block and around the corner. 

I arrived on time.  I was the second person there.

I had made the faulty assumption that this was for dessert since the meeting time was 7:30.  I had my face fixed for their famed cheesecake.  But upon finding out others had not eaten dinner yet I decided to order a plate called Fromage.  Fromage was a tray of three cheeses, seasonal fruit, and a baguette.  The baguette was so tough it could have been used to take someone's eye out.  But the tray itself was a fantastic work of art.  I wanted to take a picture of it and I should have......but I didn't.  Fail.I had a Saskatoon Berry Lemonade for a beverage.  The waiter said "ohmygod it's so good."  So I thought I had made a good choice.  Others were having wine because it was Wine Wednesday and 20% or something.  The lemonade was good.

We had a table to ourselves in the back of the restaurant.....there were about 12 of us.  It was HOT.  Now, I know that my hormones are playing tricks on me and sometimes I don't feel the temperatures accurately......but man, oh man, I needed a fan.  Not cool.

About half of our group left around 9pm and I really should have too, but I wanted that cheesecake, dammit!  I picked out the Oreo Cheesecake.  It took what felt like an hour to arrive at the table.  Not cool.  The cheesecake was good alright.  But was it the amazing-OMG-you-gotta-go-here type of cheesecake?  No.  I was expecting mind blowing orgasms of cheesecake.  Didn't happen.  Cannoli....seriously....cannoli would have blown it out of the water.When I finally pulled away from the table and hugged my goodbyes it was 10:30pm.  I was so happy to be out on the street in the cool air.  The company had been fine but I was the oldest person there but by no means did I feel that old.  But the conversation wasn't even anything.....like.....interesting.....plus I couldn't hear everyone.  Ugh!  Once I was out on the street my immediate thought was "I'm too old for this crap!"  Also,  I just kept feeling like something was missing and several hours later....because the cheesecake kept me awake until 4am......what was missing was Hubby.  This experience would have been much better with Hubby and Hubby alone.  That's what made me feel most disappointed.

Today I found out one coworker who has been really great to me also isn't returning and I wasn't able to say goodbye to him last night as he didn't come to the farewell.  His classroom is next to mine and we've taught similarly as well.  I guess it's time for him to move on.  We can't all be fixtures....as I was reminded.....I am a fixture at the Academy.

Easy Like Friday Morning

Some days are as easy as breathing.  Other days are like breathing clay.  Yesterday was a clay day.  This morning I woke up around 9am to take my thyroid pill and then hit snooze on the alarm.  I know this sounds incredibly late to a lot of you but my lifestyle is anything but normal.  My late work nights and sleeping habits dictate a rather lazy morning ritual.

The next time my alarm sounded John Gormley the local radio guy was talking about the New Saskatchewan versus the Old.  I rolled my eyes and turned over.  Its a no win discussion.

Usually at this point I sit up and see Brandy and say in a high pitched voice... "its a puppeeeeee!"  And this is the time that Brandy looks over at me and stretches and has the expression...just 10 more minutes mom.  But i grab her and scratch her tummy and give her hugs and kisses before proclaiming us lazy bones and jumping out of bed.

In the kitchen I reheat morning coffee and oatmeal while Brandy watches from the hallway.  Even though her bowl is full of Purina chicken and rice she is eager to have oatmeal too.  We have breakfast and watch Regis.....strike that.....Live with Kelly.

Every morning is that easy for me.  I'm pretty lucky.

This afternoon I had to pay the lab vampires a visit.  I only have enough synthroid for 2 weeks.  I counted.  I could have sworn I'd make it to Christmas, but oh well!  Nothing I can do about it!  So I stopped at the lab about 1:30.  The techs were so nice and not busy at all and actually eager to chat.  Maybe it was a slow day?  At any rate.....I was in and out in a jiffy.

So today instead of going down to the Starbucks in the Safeway down the hall I decided instead to treat myself to a trek across town to Pier One.

Now I don't know what was going on today.....well actually I kind of do.....  School was out for the day due to a teacher in-service AND many stores were having early Boxing Day sales to compete with Black Friday across the border.

The parking lot at Preston Crossing where Pier One is located was a zoo. 

Pier One was so magical.  I walked inside and stood in Christmas awe.  I indulged in several Christmas Tree ornaments.  I particularly love the old world type.  The ones with the reflector glass or indentations.  There were so many pretty things and once I made it to the cashier my bank account [Hubby's really] was $60 lighter.  One of the items I bought is a salt and pepper set that looks like coffee and donuts.  Now, I ask you....me of all people....how could I resist THAT?

Back out into traffic I was.  I made it to work in one piece.  I used the coffee machine for a mochacinno.  It did not taste like Starbucks.

My working day was as it usually is and I got to leave early due to a cancellation.  When I got home Hubby had ordered pizza for supper!  It arrived about 5 minutes later.  We chatted and ate and had a nice evening.

Most of my days are like this.  I don't have a lot of stress in my life.  I know I'm fortunate and I'm also thankful for everything I have in my life.

I guess its about time I rip off that band-aid from this afternoon!