What a Picture Tells

There are many things going on in this picture.  I had broken the 100 pounds lost on this day and made Hubby take my picture.  I was going to the movies - the matinee of Twilight which I had read two weeks prior.  My hair was growing out which I was thankful for.....they told me the hair loss was from the dramatic weight loss but I suspected it was a bad dye job that made it break off.  When I look at this picture now, I think this was the start of my hypothyroidism.

A month later I am in extreme pain in my left arm.  My left leg swells and I have tingling in my right hand.  I go to the minor emergency.  I am told I just hit my arm on something [ no bruising ] and to stop wasting their time and am pushed out the door.

I continue in pain - convinced I am dying.  I can't wait to be done with the school year so I can have peace.  I live on ibuprofen forcing myself through each day.  I finally find Dr. Mitra Sexena who listens to me, runs blood tests and finds nothing wrong with me and yet she is suspicious enough to send me to a neurologist.  Due to waiting lists I won't see Dr. Vol for many months.....close to a year.  I spend the summer fevered, in pain and at home where sleeping and air conditioning bring me the most comfort.  I start eating off my diet.  After all, if I'm dying, I'm going with a kit kat in my hand.

By the time I get to see the neurologist the majority of the pain has subsided.  He proclaims me normal [ in spite of my laughter ] and sends me for nerve tests which also come back normal.  The only diagnosis:  a severe case of tendonitis.  He recommends rest and looking into one armed piano players.

I decide I am not dying.  I decide to get back on my diet and I am shocked and dismayed when I have gained 20 pounds.  I diet and exercise and take off 15 pounds.  Its really hard and slow and by that fall I go off plan again.

Last Christmas, I had  a sudden weight gain.  I chalk it up to too much Christmas indulging.  Most of my size 12/14 clothes are too small and 16's are getting really tight.  I get back on my diet.  For two months I am strict.  I diet.  I exercise.  By May my weight has continued to increase.  I feel disgusted, fat, depressed and exhausted of the whole battle.

When I look at this picture I still feel the sense of accomplishment.  I also feel sadness.  How was I to know my body was going to work against me?  Being diagnosed with a couch potato thyroid finally gave me answers.  Everything I did to lose the 110 pounds is now out the window.  That diet was soy based and I've now learned soy is my arch enemy and will react with the prescribed synthroid medication.  I have to relearn what a real healthy diet and lifestyle is for the new me.  I am now 50 pounds heavier than in this picture.  I am not angry.  I am relieved to finally have an answer for everything that has happened to me in the last 3 years.  Part of me wishes to have that one day back.  Before.  Before I lived through the hell that I lived through.  But now I know....and that is what this picture tells.

Note:

Hypothyroidism signs and symptom may include:

• Fatigue
• Sluggishness
• Increased sensitivity to cold/heat
• Constipation
• Pale, dry skin
• A puffy face
• Hoarse voice
• An elevated blood cholesterol level
• Unexplained weight gain
• Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness
• Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints
• Muscle weakness
• Heavier than normal menstrual periods
• Brittle fingernails and hair
• Depression