No One Tells You

No one tells you the grief you that you will feel when your pet passes away.  People try to console you with hugs and thoughts and words like "it gets better with time."  It doesn't really help.  Everyone means well, but it doesn't change anything.  What could it possibly change?

It's been two months since Brandy~puppy the Super Dog went to Puppy Dog Heaven.  To say I miss her,
doesn't really tell you the story.  I know she was sick.  I know she was dying from the lymphoma.  I know she couldn't have lived much longer.  My heart still breaks thinking about it.  She was my best friend and making the decision to end her suffering is a decision I never want to make ever again.

The grief isn't about just crying and mourning her life.  It's small things.  It's not having to lock up the garbage.  It's no one to try to steal your blanket.  It's no one begging for the last bite of your sandwich.  It all becomes so routine that you don't realize it until you are about to toss the sandwich in the air that you realize she's not there to get it.  It's that moment that grabs you and clinches your heart.

With time it gets easier.  I don't think it's because you don't feel the grief.  I think it's because you just learn how to deal with the grief.  At first, people wanted to hug me.  A hug would bring on uncontrollable sobbing for a half hour so I refused hugs.  After a week, everyone assumed I'd be me again....be normal again.  But there is this big gaping hole that nothing else fills. 

When a person dies there are cards and flowers and people bring you food.  You know what happens when a beloved pet dies?  Nothing.  Sure people say things to you.  But nothing happens.  They make cards for these occasions....I know they do....I've seen them.  I didn't receive any.  I think that really hurts too.  Brandy was an amazing dog who never believed she was a dog.  Anyone who knew her would know that.  I certainly expected more from family and especially those who've lost pets before.  The family who did really care lived too far away to help us.  I don't know how a single person could go through this.

Gradually, Brandy's belongings have been cleaned and packed.  Some things got thrown out because they were wrecked or dirty.  I've filled her Groovy Dog dish with little red heart stones and put it on the shelf near where she used to eat.  Other belongings are waiting for me to assemble a shadow box when I have the time to do it.  We sold her kennel aka house a few weeks back.  It was sold to a woman who needed to train her dog.  Yesterday, I gave two dog dishes and a bandana to a student of mine who just adopted a cockapoo male puppy.

Even though we've been making these strides....she's still gone and we still miss her.  I mentioned to our contractor how our walls are covered with dog slobber.  He called that 'memories'.  We sure do have tons of those.  It's spring and the snow is just good for trying to scale the mountain of snow in the back yard or for traipsing through the mud and tracking it into the house.  Except there's no one to do it anymore.

And that's what no one tells you....is that your heart still breaks.

Art Girl ~ DIY Wall Art ~

Last summer I took an art class.  A drawing class to be specific.  I loved it.  I filled up my summer with inspiration and reminded me of a talent I have and forgot how to use.  Since the class was over I tried to do some projects on my own but without a deadline to meet and so many other responsibilites I didn't really get around to doing anything.  Work, right?  It keeps us all from what we really want to do.

So, two weeks ago I saw a woman on the Marilyn Dennis show.....it's a talk show here in Canada on CTV.  They had a show about home decor and the guest did an art project which could be customized to your own decor.  Tah-dah!  I thought.  There's the project I've been waiting for.  I will make a custom painting for my newly renovated bathroom ensuite. 

LINK ---->  DIYWallArt

I bought my supplies from a few different stores.  I bought canvas from Michael's.  It came in a two pack 16 X 20 and lucky  me....it was on sale for $6.  I bought a small roller, putty knife and craft paint from Dollarama.  The craft paint was $1 a bottle and larger than what you'd find at Michael's.  I also got an assortment of brushes.  The drywall putty was purchased for approx $6 from a paint store which I just happened to be at buying paint for the new bathroom.  I got the kind that goes on pink and dries white.

The first step was to apply the putty to the canvas.  It is not supposed to be smooth.  In fact, the messier and lumpier the better.  This is what gives the painting that funky texturized look.

Before it was dry

I took a yellow colour and did a base coat once it was dry.  Later on I decided I didn't like the colour of the edging and made it a brighter yellow, but I'll get to that.  I used a roller for the base coat.

The base colour turned out rather peachy even though I wanted yellow.

The next step was to put my paint colours on plastic plates for easy access.  Then all you do is dab the different colours all over the canvas making a kind of checker board kind of effect.  That in itself looks pretty cool and you could stop there if you really wanted to.

To get the super coolio dreamy impressionistic effect, you take a clean brush and dip it in a tiny bit of water.  Then you drag it through the paint from one side to the other.

HAZZAH!

The effect was amazing!  I would have never thought that would happen.

I let it dry over night and even though I really liked it, it was also lacking pazzazz and personality and the yellow colour I desired.  So I took a brighter yellow and rolled it on the edge to tidy up the drips and then I dabbed more on throughout the painting itself....wet the brush and dragged it through to distribute the colour. 

AND VOILA!

Art a la Sandra

The colours I used were Cargo [from the sample of paint from the bathroom wall colour], dark red, white, burnt amber, and mellow yellow.

The best part is.....I have another canvas to do another customized project!  I have an idea so stay tuned for the reveal of what that might be.  If it turns out, because, you know.....sometimes these things fail.  Although, I am told, some of the best mistakes also make the greatest art.

Groovy Dog

After seeing an ad in the newspaper on January 7th, 2000 we drove to Weldon, SK and adopted Brandy from a family whose last name was Haldane. She was the last puppy.  She was born November 11th, 1999.  

A dog for the millennium.  She was my Christmas present that year.  She's been a gift every year since.

Through our 14 years together she has taught me some valuable lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Greet every loved one as if you haven't seen them in years.  We should be excited for those in our lives and we never know how long they are really there.  Everything can change quickly.  Never let a day go by without telling a loved one you care.

Nothing counter height is yours.  If you leave your drink unattended or drop food they belong to the dog.  In fact, nothing on the counter may be yours either.  That is especially true if it is slightly dangling over the edge of the counter or too close to the edge.  Leaving a steak on an open barbecue is definitely an invitation.  Always push the chair in to the table when you leave or you might be missing something off your plate when you return.  Also, none of the blankets in the house are yours.  They all belong to the dog who will promptly curl up on them and never give them up.

Embrace the change of the seasons.  Stop and smell the flowers.  Eat peas straight from the garden.  Stomp in the autumn leaves.  Plop your feet in the puddles.  Feel the mud between your toes.  Dash out the door on the first snow fall and frolic in the flakes.

Take time for yourself.  Indulge in a spa day.  Have your hair done.  Get a message.  Have a pedicure.  Buy some new clothes.  You will feel like a new dog.....er, person after.

Breakable Christmas ornaments have no business hanging on a tree.  This is especially true if they are hanging down low because they will fall onto the floor and crash into a gazillion pieces.  Some breakable ornaments may be hung at a higher level however, the tree may fall over at any time smashing them to smithereens.

Go for car rides.  Travel.  See the world.  Drive with the windows down and let your hair blow in the wind.  Dip your toes in the water.  Find a new spot and make it yours.  Enjoy the sights.  Smell the air.  Be inquisitive.  Escape.

Protect your turf.  Keep an eye out on your neighbourhood.  Keep watch.  Make sure no one is sneaking around or messing with your stuff.  Patrol your yard and make sure everything is as it should be.

Remember when it's garbage day.  Always empty the garbage.  Inevitably a dog will Houdini itself into the garbage under the sink and spread it through the house if you don't take care of the garbage in your life.  This may promote the installation of child proof locks on said kitchen cabinet but a dog is always aware and one must ensure the door is always firmly closed.

Accidents happen.  Sometimes you poop on the floor but there's no point being upset.  Yes it's embarrassing but don't dwell on it.  Clean up your mess and move on.  No one else thinks about it anymore so why should you.  Everyone makes mistakes.

Be loyal and love deeply.

Know when it's time to go.

My little Brandy~puppy the Super Dog was diagnosed with a form of lymphoma on December 27th, 2013 and after a short rebound she went to Puppy Dog Heaven on January 27th, 2014, where she was greeted by her friends, Gonzo, Gunther, Lucy, & her mortal enemy Squeak the Cat.  She was The Mom's angel and The Dad's fur seal and will be greatly missed but forever in our hearts.

Mommy & Daddy love you baby puppy.  More than you will ever know.

My Natural Habitat

Every morning, when I let Brandy out to do her bizness, I'd wander out in my pj's and gaze at the garden.  Every morning I'd be greeted with a new surprise.  Maybe it was the white bleeding heart blooming, a new lily springing to life or just watching the garden fill in with colour.

The part I don't enjoy very much is the weeding.  I hate weeding.  Now that the garden is almost filled with plants the weeding isn't so much work.  I no longer have to crawl around on my hands and knees.  I can do it in an evening when the heat from the day is gone.

I love my little Kermie frog looking over my garden.  He is perched on a log.  Unfortunately, I'm going to have to get him a new log as it's now crumbling.  I love my twinkle lights, but they have malfunctioned and haven't twinkled for a while now.  I will have to replace them next weekend.

I've really enjoyed taking Hubby's new fancy camera out and snapping close ups of the flowers.  Renter Person wondered what I was doing one day.  I told him, "I'm taking pictures so I can look at the flowers in February."  Renter Person thought I was funny.  Perhaps, but, at that time of year we yearn for those mornings gazing at the garden.

I had hopes of sitting in the back yard enjoying the views, but the skeeters were out in full force during the summer.  Now that the mosquito's are gone the wasps have appeared.  Still, I found one evening to sit on the bench swing and read my book.  I read half of the book outside until it got too dark to read anymore.

The leaves have started to dry and curl.  The plants aren't blooming anymore.  It's only a matter of time before we need to clean the garden off to get ready for next year.  There is a love/hate with the turning foliage.  I've enjoyed what you've given me but sad to see it go.

A One Hour Tour

For several years.....well, at least the last three years I've wanted to go on a riverboat tour on the South Saskatchewan River.  There used to be two riverboats named Saskatoon Princess and Meewasin Queen. [Meewasin means 'beautiful' in Cree.] The appeal grew greater last year when a new riverboat was brought in called the Prairie Lily.

Prairie Lily was born in Wisconson.  She was a charter ship sailing on the Colorado River until last year when Sheerwater Marine Services of Saskatoon bought her.  The Prairie Lily is a 63 foot 107 ton passenger riverboat.

The forecast was good and I convinced Hubby that we MUST go.  We've waited long enough.....and for what?!  Tickets were purchased online for $20 a person.  Boarding time was 6pm Wednesday.

The plan was that Hubby would come home from work and I've have toasted tomato sammiches ready to eat.  It was so we could get to the Mendel Art Gallery loading dock in time.  I did have it all ready, but when Hubby arrived home the weather had gotten unfavourable.  The wind had kicked up and I was becoming disappointed that it wouldn't be a nice evening like we had been experiencing.

Phooey.

I ended up wearing capris, my black sparkly sneakers, tank top & a bunny hug.  That's a hoodie for all you non-Saskies.  We were on time for boarding but others were not.  It seemed that there was a group of coworkers and they weren't arriving on time.  Boarding seemed to take forever because of it.  We finally disembarked around 6:30.

" I'm King of the World! "

We sailed by the tents of Shakespeare on the Saskatchewan on one side of the river and the University of Saskatchewan on the other.  Something I did not know before was that attractive graystone building near the top end of the University bridge was built to house University Presidents, which it has done to this day. And, in fact, whenever British royalty visits the City, they are accommodated in this grand old house while the University President of the day is moved temporarily to the Bessborough Hotel.  I would have thought the royalty would stay in the hotel!

The Prairie Lily sailed under 4 bridges.  Saskatoon has many bridges both for cars and trains.  It seems like there are never enough either!  


On the cruise we found out facts about the river.  We were told that it's really not that deep.  It's only 1 or 2 metres deep and the riverboat has to follow a particular channel of 2 or 3 metres deep.  Because of this, we were shown how to use life jackets and boats but were told we could likely just take a leisurely walk to shore!

Next we sailed by the Bessborough Hotel.  I've blogged about it before.  Again, I learned things I did not know!  This grand old lady was built by the railroad between 1928 and 1932, but was unable to open until 1935 because of financial woes caused by the Great Depression. The hotel boasts 225 rooms; its modern French Renaissance design is similar to the other famous railway hotels across Canada.  Design features include 32 unique gargoyle - like statues at front and sides. Of course, Grotesques and gargoyles are normally images of mythological creatures but the ones on the hotel are images of Saskatchewan creatures like buffalo, beaver, moose, and deer and even a giant bumblebee!  I would have never known this!  I also learned that falcons make homes on the top of the Bess! So cool!

We were told about the role of the South Saskatchewan River during the Riel Rebellion.  We were told about the Victoria Bridge which is being dismantled.  We were told about a ship wreck!  Then everyone became quiet as we passed some very stately homes.  I marveled at the yards....the winding paths to the river and gorgeous flowers.  How lucky those people are to be able to enjoy our river.  However, it was ruled that the land along the river will no longer be used for homes and be for public purposes instead as parks etc.  I love that idea of conservation.

We turned to return to our launching point.  We were told to look off one side of the riverboat as we were being welcomed back by a beaver!  You can't get much more Canadian than that!

We loved the cruise.  Hubby was so glad I insisted on going and wondered why it took us so long to do it.  We walked very happily back to our car just as the sun was setting on another memorable adventurous evening.

Out There

When I was a kid I saw the movie I Wanna Hold Your Hand.  It was on one of our then called Super Channels which was a 24 hour movie channel.  I've never watched the movie since but I remember how it showed the hysteria of the culture surrounding the Beatles and their fans.

When I was in junior high school I went through a whole 50's and 60's phase.  I made mixed tapes [remember those?] of music from that time period.  I borrowed records from the library and recorded them onto cassette tape.  I borrowed all the Beatles greatest hits albums and transferred them to cassette tape.  This was also around the time Duran Duran hit it big and I quickly transferred my obsession to them and the new British Invasion.

In a million years I would have never thought I'd ever have a chance to see someone of the calibre of Paul McCartney in concert anywhere near my home.  People like that only toured in the US and maybe had one or two concert dates in Canada.

As a piano "mackdaddy", I've taught many students to play Let it Be, Hey Jude, and Yesterday.  I've felt it is my duty as a music teacher to educate the up and coming about relative music.  I teach the songs and I try to teach the story behind it.

In 2012, I went to New York and saw the building John Lennon was killed in front of.  I walked through Central Park which contains Strawberry Fields and a memorial to John Lennon.

This year.  I got to go to Mosaic Stadium in Regina, Saskatchewan for an evening of magic with 40,000 other people.  I saw Sir Paul McCartney in concert for the final night of the North American Out There tour.

It was EPIC.

We drove into Regina about 4pm and checked into the Days Inn which has the highest beds of all time.  Seriously, when I stood beside the bed, it was hip high.  We couldn't find a restaurant so we had to get a quick and untastey burger at McDonald's before we lined up for the shuttle buses to the stadium.  We were there at what we thought was early.  Within a very short period of time the line traveled around the entire parking lot.  The buses could only take 45 people at a time.  There weren't enough buses.  Some people were opting to drive instead but the city strongly urged people to take the SGI sponsored shuttles instead.  So we stuck with the shuttles.

That wasn't the worst of it.

When we got to the block before the stadium there were streets blocked off with police everywhere.  The line up for the gate to our seating was a city block long.  The signage inside the stadium was poor.  It was hot and we had been standing forever.  Bottled water was $4.  So finally we found our seats and settled in.  I use the word 'seat' generously because it was a bench basically.  The guy on the isle got the worst of it by only  half perching on the seat.

Because it was taking such an enormous amount of time for fans to get there the concert did not start on time.  It started an hour after it's supposed initial start time of 8pm.  But something was happening and does tend to happen when 40,000 people are in a stadium together and the sun is setting making the moon [and I'm not talking about Jon Cornish here] over Mosaic a magical place. 

 

A spontaneous wave broke out.  Have you ever seen that amount of people participating in the wave?  I bet we set a record.

Finally, Paul appeared on stage and from there on out.....it was purely 3 hours of legendary music spanning 50 years.  We heard tributes to Lennon and Harrison.  We heard songs dedicated to two of his wives.  We heard stories of recordings and playing with Jimmy Hendrix and it was all incredible.  At one point he took a certain section of the stage to himself.  It was himself and his guitar, which he played about 5 different types.  McCartney talked about telling people how much you love them while you have the chance and how he didn't with John Lennon.  Then he sang a song about him and the stage began to rise up while water falls emerge on the screens below.  Paul wiped away a tear when he was done.

At another point in the concert, he took to his piano to sing Let it Be.  I've heard it billions of times.  This was the most emotional time I've ever experienced it as the entire stadium lit up with lighters and cell phones.  Again, Paul was clearly moved by the outpouring of emotion from the crowd.

The most mind blowing part of the concert was the rendition of Live and Let Die.  I can't even hardly explain the jaw dropping excitement as flames were shot off the stage and fireworks streaked into the night sky.  Wow.  Just plain WOW.

During the 1st encore Hubby pulled my arm and said we should go and catch our bus.  We were clearly leaving early as by the time we hit the bottom of the stairs Paul had broken into Yesterday.  So we stood outside on the street with tons of other people listening in the night.  When it was over we headed to our bus while more fireworks went off and could be seen for blocks around.
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Today we were lucky and beat the rush to the continental breakfast which was delish!  We needed it because we were sight seeing before heading home for the 3 hour drive.  The first place we went was the Legislature Building.  This is the massive building which our Premiere Brad Wall conducts all provincial business.  It is on the bank of Wascana Lake and features immaculate gardens, sculptures and walking trails.  There was a tour which takes a half hour but we had other places to get to.

Rider practice!!!!!  We got a little lost trying to find Leibel Field but finally found it.  It was 32*C so we didn't stay as long as originally planned.  It was fun to watch the team practice.  It was cool to hear the 'wolf pack' howl in unison a number of times.  I snapped a few shots before we left for lunch.

Lunch was at the Star Italian Deli.  The main objective was cannoli.  And yes, they did have cannoli!  It was really good too.  We also got assorted Italian meat sandwiches and an orange Boylan soda, another treat from our NYC trip.

Because of the heat, we decided to drive and eat.  We found the highway and zoomed off with enough vivid memories to last a life time.  I am still drinking it all in.  It is amazing to be Out There.

The Wheels on the Bus Go.....Hot Diggety Dog!

Hubby was at the kitchen counter gulping down fresh cherries left and right when I wandered in.  I said, "You know, if you wanted to take your fancy schmancy camera and go for a walk I have an idea.  I've always wanted to go to the red double decker bus.  We can get a hotdog and wander through the park."

He looked at me.

Then he looked at his cherries.

Then he responded, "Well, I may as well eat the rest.  There's only 5 left."

So we hopped in the Honda and cruised into downtown Saskatoon and found a very lucky parking spot right down the street of the picturesque Bessborough Hotel and across the street from the Red Bus Refreshment double decker bus.  After perusing the menu we decided on the Riverbank Frank for $5 each.  We had a choice of  4 toppings.....I got the usual ketchup, mustard, relish and mayo.  Hubby had pickles, sauerkraut, mustard and salsa.  He is adventurous after all!

The back view of the bus.

We walked to the corner where there were several park benches and sat and ate our huge hot dogs.  The bus offers many things ranging from ice cream, frozen yoghurt, ice tea, lemonade, floats, popcorn and our dogs.  This is the first time that I've ever gotten something from the bus and yes, it was on my Sand Bucket List.

The view from our park bench.

When we were finished our lunch we walked across the street to the Bessborough Hotel.  The Bess was built as many were for the railroad.  It is an outstanding feature for our city.  It's known as the Castle on the River and is a major landmark.  It's a very interesting building and some say it has ghosts!  I tried to take pictures of some of the interesting architecture including the gargoyles sitting atop the roof.

Can you spot the gargoyle?

We walked along the paths of the park adjacent to the hotel.....it is the same place the Taste of Saskatchewan was.....but this time, being empty of food tents, it was reminiscent of the great lawn in Central Park.  I found a maple leaf on the trail and picked it up and carried it the entire way with me.  [I set it free before we left :) ]  In the middle of the park is a band stand that is dedicated to those who fought at Vimy Ridge.

Hubby's Hand, my leaf, the Vimy memorial & South Saskatchewan River.

Saskatoon is known as the City of Bridges.  In fact, we just had a brand new bridge, the South Bridge, open last week!  We ventured close to one of them, the Broadway Bridge, and snapped a few neat pictures.

Right under the bridge!

We meandered down the paths and found the ornate back gate open to the Bessborough Gardens.  I bet it was an interesting place back in the day. 

We continued on until we got to the spot where the skating rink is during the winter.  Hubby remarked, "No one is skating today."

Riding on the Prairie Lily is also on my Sand Bucket List!

By this time we were getting a little thirsty and a Tim Hortons was nearby so we went there.  I had a gift card to use.  I got an ice cap while Hubby got a raspberry lemonade.  On our way back to the car we walked by his work and a couple other business.

Street fleurs with church in the background.

It was fun and relaxing and made for a beautiful day!  I love where I live and I am so appreciative of the things we have here to enjoy.  In the words of my brother in law, I can't believe you have this here!