Easy Like Friday Morning

Some days are as easy as breathing.  Other days are like breathing clay.  Yesterday was a clay day.  This morning I woke up around 9am to take my thyroid pill and then hit snooze on the alarm.  I know this sounds incredibly late to a lot of you but my lifestyle is anything but normal.  My late work nights and sleeping habits dictate a rather lazy morning ritual.

The next time my alarm sounded John Gormley the local radio guy was talking about the New Saskatchewan versus the Old.  I rolled my eyes and turned over.  Its a no win discussion.

Usually at this point I sit up and see Brandy and say in a high pitched voice... "its a puppeeeeee!"  And this is the time that Brandy looks over at me and stretches and has the expression...just 10 more minutes mom.  But i grab her and scratch her tummy and give her hugs and kisses before proclaiming us lazy bones and jumping out of bed.

In the kitchen I reheat morning coffee and oatmeal while Brandy watches from the hallway.  Even though her bowl is full of Purina chicken and rice she is eager to have oatmeal too.  We have breakfast and watch Regis.....strike that.....Live with Kelly.

Every morning is that easy for me.  I'm pretty lucky.

This afternoon I had to pay the lab vampires a visit.  I only have enough synthroid for 2 weeks.  I counted.  I could have sworn I'd make it to Christmas, but oh well!  Nothing I can do about it!  So I stopped at the lab about 1:30.  The techs were so nice and not busy at all and actually eager to chat.  Maybe it was a slow day?  At any rate.....I was in and out in a jiffy.

So today instead of going down to the Starbucks in the Safeway down the hall I decided instead to treat myself to a trek across town to Pier One.

Now I don't know what was going on today.....well actually I kind of do.....  School was out for the day due to a teacher in-service AND many stores were having early Boxing Day sales to compete with Black Friday across the border.

The parking lot at Preston Crossing where Pier One is located was a zoo. 

Pier One was so magical.  I walked inside and stood in Christmas awe.  I indulged in several Christmas Tree ornaments.  I particularly love the old world type.  The ones with the reflector glass or indentations.  There were so many pretty things and once I made it to the cashier my bank account [Hubby's really] was $60 lighter.  One of the items I bought is a salt and pepper set that looks like coffee and donuts.  Now, I ask you....me of all people....how could I resist THAT?

Back out into traffic I was.  I made it to work in one piece.  I used the coffee machine for a mochacinno.  It did not taste like Starbucks.

My working day was as it usually is and I got to leave early due to a cancellation.  When I got home Hubby had ordered pizza for supper!  It arrived about 5 minutes later.  We chatted and ate and had a nice evening.

Most of my days are like this.  I don't have a lot of stress in my life.  I know I'm fortunate and I'm also thankful for everything I have in my life.

I guess its about time I rip off that band-aid from this afternoon!

It's Not the Number that Matters.....

.....it's not the number that matters.
 

How many times did I tell customers that back in my retail days? Multitudes of times a day. Does it make you feel any better?

Only if you close your eyes.

I went to Addition-Elle today. Its a division of Pennington's and Reitman's. I worked there for one month during that other time period in my life.....the one in which retail stole my soul. They specialize in clothes for sizes 14 to 24. Its been a long time since I've ventured through that door.

Still.....the number doesn't matter. If the clothes fit and look good and make you feel good in them.....then who cares what number is on the label? Its not like you're going to go around with a giant 20 in neon flashing on your forehead. Its very difficult when you have every size in your closet starting at a 12. Extremely difficult to admit this is where you need to shop. Again.

I also remember how hard it was to realize that I didn't need to shop in those stores anymore. It was an incredible realization that I had when I could walk into any store and fit clothes. It was a hard concept to come to terms with as well. My body image was out of “whack”.

This week I am in search of clothes for work. All I want are some things that fit. Things that don't give me muffin top and things I can breath in. Like I told the girl in the store today.....NOT Standing Up Pants. You know the kind.....the pants that look totally awesome until you sit down and they cut off all circulation. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure my students would appreciate me not passing out all the time.

I did not find pants today. I did come home with a sweater set and a casual shirt along with some matching jewelry. I tried on items in sizes ranging from 1X to 3X. And you know what? That number didn't really matter after all. I found things that fit and fit my lifestyle and I did feel good. 

 

I have come to terms with where I am now. This is the body I am living in at this point in time. I cannot change the present.....only my future.

At work on Thursday I talked with coworkers about my thyroid condition. “Bob” says “You look the same to me.” And I laughed. “That's because I just saw you on Monday!” I replied. But really what it is.....is that I'm beginning to understand that my circle of friends love me whether there's a big ol' X on my shirt or not. They look beyond it and see me. And if they can do that.....then I can too.

What a Picture Tells

There are many things going on in this picture.  I had broken the 100 pounds lost on this day and made Hubby take my picture.  I was going to the movies - the matinee of Twilight which I had read two weeks prior.  My hair was growing out which I was thankful for.....they told me the hair loss was from the dramatic weight loss but I suspected it was a bad dye job that made it break off.  When I look at this picture now, I think this was the start of my hypothyroidism.

A month later I am in extreme pain in my left arm.  My left leg swells and I have tingling in my right hand.  I go to the minor emergency.  I am told I just hit my arm on something [ no bruising ] and to stop wasting their time and am pushed out the door.

I continue in pain - convinced I am dying.  I can't wait to be done with the school year so I can have peace.  I live on ibuprofen forcing myself through each day.  I finally find Dr. Mitra Sexena who listens to me, runs blood tests and finds nothing wrong with me and yet she is suspicious enough to send me to a neurologist.  Due to waiting lists I won't see Dr. Vol for many months.....close to a year.  I spend the summer fevered, in pain and at home where sleeping and air conditioning bring me the most comfort.  I start eating off my diet.  After all, if I'm dying, I'm going with a kit kat in my hand.

By the time I get to see the neurologist the majority of the pain has subsided.  He proclaims me normal [ in spite of my laughter ] and sends me for nerve tests which also come back normal.  The only diagnosis:  a severe case of tendonitis.  He recommends rest and looking into one armed piano players.

I decide I am not dying.  I decide to get back on my diet and I am shocked and dismayed when I have gained 20 pounds.  I diet and exercise and take off 15 pounds.  Its really hard and slow and by that fall I go off plan again.

Last Christmas, I had  a sudden weight gain.  I chalk it up to too much Christmas indulging.  Most of my size 12/14 clothes are too small and 16's are getting really tight.  I get back on my diet.  For two months I am strict.  I diet.  I exercise.  By May my weight has continued to increase.  I feel disgusted, fat, depressed and exhausted of the whole battle.

When I look at this picture I still feel the sense of accomplishment.  I also feel sadness.  How was I to know my body was going to work against me?  Being diagnosed with a couch potato thyroid finally gave me answers.  Everything I did to lose the 110 pounds is now out the window.  That diet was soy based and I've now learned soy is my arch enemy and will react with the prescribed synthroid medication.  I have to relearn what a real healthy diet and lifestyle is for the new me.  I am now 50 pounds heavier than in this picture.  I am not angry.  I am relieved to finally have an answer for everything that has happened to me in the last 3 years.  Part of me wishes to have that one day back.  Before.  Before I lived through the hell that I lived through.  But now I know....and that is what this picture tells.

Note:

Hypothyroidism signs and symptom may include:

• Fatigue
• Sluggishness
• Increased sensitivity to cold/heat
• Constipation
• Pale, dry skin
• A puffy face
• Hoarse voice
• An elevated blood cholesterol level
• Unexplained weight gain
• Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness
• Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints
• Muscle weakness
• Heavier than normal menstrual periods
• Brittle fingernails and hair
• Depression
  

An Evening With SUPERTRAMP

I did not have the easiest of work days yesterday.  I was thankful I was only working half the day.  I had a student come who was obviously sick and had in fact stayed home from school and yet her parents thought her well enough to come to lessons.  Thank goodness for hand sanitizer.  I had the pleasure of teaching [although with this student the term "teaching" is used loosely] a girl who I've had issues with for a long long time.  I hate to generalize but I know there is something very not right about this girl.  Then I had a student who I thought was out for the count due to a broken collar bone.....and yet she showed up yesterday.  Finally I was free.....a little cranky.....but free.

At 7pm Hubby and I set out for the concert.  I was really amazed at the lack of traffic and the ease of parking.  Other concerts we've taken a bus shuttle but they were not offered this time.  Now I know that's because it was not a complete sell out.  It saddens me.  Talent of this caliber deserves a sell out crowd. 

The audience was a diverse one.  All ages.  We had tickets for Row 5, seats 18 and 19 which turned out to be terrific seats and almost mid-stage.  I had the luck, as I always do, of sitting behind someone whose head I couldn't see around [as you'll see in my video].  The woman beside me kept jiggling her leg.....not in time to the music, but in a nervous-I'm-putting-in-my-time kind of way.  Oh.....and when she wasn't jiggling she was texting.  Her friend got up and left half way through.  I may add our tickets were $150.  Why you'd pay that money to sit and not pay attention is beyond me.  *shrugs*

There wasn't an opening band.  They simply took the stage and performed.  There weren't any flashy pyrotechnics.  They simply did what they were meant to do.  And what that was.....was entertain.

On our way home, which wasn't the long way, I commented "what a great way to spend $150."  Hubby agreed.  "Now THAT is music."

Attack of the Pod Person

It began innocently enough on a December afternoon as I sat perusing a reward point website which was in conjunction with the diet my sister in law coached me for and which I had used in my ongoing weigh loss battle. I had accumulated many points. I was very excited to use some of them to claim a bracelet from Eclipse. It was a replica of the one given to Bella in the movie with a brown wolf dangling from one end and a “diamond” heart pendant from the other. I really wanted to use up all my points because I wasn't sure how much longer I'd be able to get the products from across the border. I happened to click onto the electronics tab next. Appearing before me was a selection of iPod Shuffle's in various colours of the rainbow. I chose green. When faced with a decision of colour, green was always the answer. 

 

♫ Green is the colour.....Football is the game.... ♪

When it arrived I was forced into installing all the necessary Apple programing. All I intended was to use it for music and maybe hook it up in the car for long trips. But on further investigations into iTunes.....I found out I could also use it for Podcasts and Audio Books. With all this investigating I became fluent in the “i” language. iRock.

I recalled as a kid listening to old style mystery radio shows late at night and often they'd put me to sleep. So I did a search in iTunes for these types of radio programs and to my delight I found out many of them were free to subscribe. Since it was just before Christmas I looked for Christmas programming and happened upon a selection of Abbot & Costello doing some Christmas shopping as well as Red Skeleton and the Martin & Lewis Show. It was only 3 shows but I downloaded them to my green pod and whisked them off with me to my parents for the Christmas holidays where on the Eve of the Chubby Dude arriving we hooked up the Pod to a “ghetto blaster” and listened and laughed to these relic radio shows. It was memorable.

Once Christmas was over I still wanted to enjoy these programs and decided I really enjoyed the Martin & Lewis programs the best. I found someone on iTunes who had made podcasts on a regular basis and quickly subscribed. I went back to the very beginning.....waaaay back to 1949.....a time warp. The comedy was clean and truly funny and I found myself often chuckling in the darkness waiting to fall asleep. Often Dean Martin's voice would swoon me to sleep.

♫ I'm at heaven's door.....Innamorata ♪

Honestly the only memories I had were of Dean Martin. I really knew nothing of his partnership with Jerry Lewis. I remember seeing some of the Dean Martin roasts on TV and had vague memories of The Dean Martin Show from my childhood and always thought he was a boozer. I am not one to leave a stone unturned and after Googling found out a great deal about them. I began watching clips on Youtube from the Colgate Comedy Hour and even ordered some episodes from Amazon. One DVD included a movie At War with the Army. This movie opened up a whole new era to appreciate and enjoy.

I've really found that I was craving this type of entertainment in my life. I find there is very little on TV to watch and music these days are somewhat of a disappointment to me. Plus, I am always looking for a new way to express music in my teaching. I may not teach this specific style of music but it really does impact us today. That's what I love most.....is finding something from another time and space and applying the concept to what we do today. Did you know that Elvis heard a Dean Martin song and wanted to record it? Then that song became his 2^nd big hit? It's true. Here's another thing I discovered. I am not the only person yearning for this type of programing.

Why have I told you this big long story?  I watched all of the movies featuring the duo of Dean and Jerry . I also wanted to tell everyone how one little decision changed my life over the last three months. Had I never clicked on that link on the reward page and ordered that little green Pod you would have never had to endure all my crazy ramblings over these weeks and months. At the same time, my eyes have been opened along with my heart to a time and place that only half exists on audio and film even though the impact is woven intricately into the tapestry of Hollywood and television. It leaves me wondering if what we see and hear today could also stand the test of the passing of 60 years.

He Danced Into My Life

When I say Hubby danced into my life, most people laugh, but its not entirely meant as a joke. It is the truth. The night was meant to be a girls night out. Myself, my friend Barb who was visiting from Edmonton and another close friend, Jane, who was freshly broken up were going out to just have some fun. It is an important fact that I was only 18 at the time and the legal drinking age was 19. Its also important that the place we were going was known for letting in underage people.....yet I wouldn't really know about that until years later. I had borrowed Barb's old driver's license in case I was i.d.'d. In those days they didn't require pictures. If they had, Hubby and I probably would never had met.

 

There was a live band playing that night. The name escapes me now but they were pretty good from what I remember. We sat and had drinks. It wasn't too long before a guy came over to the table. He had the bluest eyes I've ever seen and I was mesmerized. I had no idea he was talking to me. This was not Hubby. Barb grabbed his arm and dragged him off to the dance floor. I shrugged and went back to my drink. Pretty soon another guy was at our table and he was talking to me and I did accept to dance with him. This was Hubby. His dancing style was 'unique' but it didn't matter because the night was all about having a good time. What I distinctly remember about him, besides the dancing, was that when a dance was over he'd put his hand on my back to urge me back to our seats. It sent shock waves through me every time.

The evening ended with me driving all my friends home. The 'guys' didn't have a ride so of course I offered. We discovered they all boarded at the Bible College and were sneaking back in after curfew. We all exchanged numbers which Barb got all confused.....she wasn't good with names and we parted ways.

That was that.

It was a few weeks later and long after Barb had gone home that Jane and I were driving around one night. There wasn't a whole lot to do. We were driving down a particular street when Jane said 'Isn't that the guy from the bar?' And when I looked in my rear view mirror.....it most certainly was. He was walking very fast. I made a U-turn and headed toward the park where Future Hubby was taking a short cut.

If you ask him he will tell you I just appeared before him.

I actually pretty much chased him through the park on foot and cut him off at the pass.

I asked him where he was going and he said the 7-11 to return a movie and grab a coffee. So I offered a ride. Jane and I waited in the car until he returned. When he came out he did not have a coffee. That always struck me as funny. When I returned him to the College we again exchanged numbers and may have made plans to see each other again. That part is foggy, but I do know that we began seeing each other casually for coffee or movies until we really were dating.

Our very first official date was supper at an Italian restaurant followed by the movie Dances with Wolves.

I had no idea what my feelings really were for him. One night Jane said to me “are you kidding? You should see the way he looks at you.” What I knew was that he listened to me. He looked me in the eye. He opened doors for me and treated me the way my father always told me a 'real' guy would treat me.

A year and a half later we were engaged. He proposed to me in his hometown church, after he had asked my father for his permission,  where he said the following: This is where I asked God into my life and now, I'm asking you into my life. We were married a week before Christmas 1992.

Our lives have not always been perfect but our love has been constant. Without Hubby I would have never seen the ocean, learned the game of football or moved from my home town. He's made me more adventurous and constantly reminds me how to live life to the fullest. 

 

Hubby may not sparkle but he knows how to make my life twinkle and I feel truly blessed that he danced into my life.

The Girl Who Didn't Write a Review

Karl Stig-Erland Larsson (15 August 1954 – 9 November 2004), who wrote professionally as Stieg Larsson, was a Swedish journalist and writer, born in Skelleftehamn outside Skellefteå. He is best known for writing the Millennium Trilogy of crime novels, which was published posthumously. Larsson lived and worked much of his life in Stockholm.

He was the second best-selling author in the world in 2008, behind Khaled Hosseini. By March 2010, his Millennium trilogy had sold 27 million copies in more than 40 countries.

But those are just the facts. 

I started out attempting to write a review of the movie The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo which I watched Friday night. I had heard so much about it and was pleased to see it come on right after the news on my free movies on demand channel. The movie is in Swedish and I was somewhat curious as I have family of Swedish decent. I was thankful for the subtitles even though at first I found them difficult to read just due to lighting and I found myself wishing they were larger. Someone with a vision impairment would have definitely had a problem keeping up with the movie. With these thoughts in mind I knew I needed to do a review.

Yet, this morning, I realized everyone already knows about these books and movies. Some have read them and watched them. But what do we know about the author? He seemed like an intriguing fellow and that's when I was prompted to look him up. 

Stig was a journalist so was used to writing I suppose. The interesting part is that he kept writing in his spare time. When he'd come home from is daytime job he'd write for his own pleasure. He was very much like you or me in that aspect. We blog or jot notes or even just doodle. What I find most interesting is that he died of a heart attack before anyone ever knew of Dragon Tattoo's or Hornet's Nests. He had only halfheartedly pursued getting his work published and it wasn't until his death that the manuscripts for his work was found in a trilogy with clues as to the intention of writing at least ten books! It is the first 3 books which we now have in this world with a partial manuscript owned by Stig's friend. The works have won several literature awards in Sweden and no doubt will continue around the world.

So, I sit here with a work of my own. I've been writing for well over a year and some of you know I've become stuck at a certain point. Reading about Mr. Larsson has made me think how wonderful it would be to see my own work come to light. To just finish it would be huge reward.  Everyone has a story and I want to make sure that mine gets put down before someone can come along and find those first 13 chapters.....with 3 alternate chapters [because I can't quite figure it out!] and wonder what could have been. 

What else do we leave unfinished? We won't ever know the rest of Stig Larsson's stories but we can finish our own. What do you want to leave in this world? 

Live without regret. 

Finish your story.