The calendar will soon flip over from 31st to first and I’ve prayed a lot that the anxiety, panic and grief I've experienced in 2022 will be erased. I know it won’t. The day changing or year changing really won’t magically make everything disappear no matter how much I want it to. I can keep hoping though and that’s why I keep looking forward to 2023.
A season of Hope.
Out with the old. In with the new.
A ritual or tradition for me at this time of year is to sit down with my new calendar and write in all the important dates. I'm still one of those people who buy calendars and keep track of such things in writing. I'm not sure most people do this anymore and just rely on adding it to their phone or tablet. I do that too. However, I like to see things in writing. I like to see a visual of how many days until the birthday or anniversary or concert or whatever next big thing is coming along. I add birthdays and anniversaries and throughout the year I keep track of appointments and other achievements.
This little tradition also means that I get to flip through the calendar I've just finished and reflect on everything that's passed. As I've mentioned in previous blogs and if you know me then you'll know there's been a lot going on in 2022. Enough dwelling! I want to focus on all the good things instead.
The Good Things.
I've continued to make my health a priority and while this year's weight loss total is only about 15 pounds, it's still nearly 90 over all and I know in 2023 I will finally get to the goal weight I set out for myself.
I've worked really hard in my job. I've had to say goodbye to some special students but at the same time those people have made me far far better at my job of teaching music and I am so thankful and grateful for that. In August, I had a student achieve the highest exam mark in the province and as a result received a medal commendation from Conservatory Canada. I’ve had this happen before but prior to the pandemic. It confirms to me that teaching the joy of music through piano lessons is what I was truly meant to do.
I've made a huge effort to be more gracious and giving in ways I wasn't previously. I’ve tried to lend an ear and lend a hand. I baked and gave lot's away to friends, neighbours and family. I'd like to continue to share in that way if I can, not just because it’s the holidays, but because an unexpected surprise always makes someone else’s day a bit brighter and it also brings me joy in knowing that
I've tried to reach out more. Rekindle friendships. Form new friendships. Join communities. I'm a homebody at heart. Whenever I do make myself go out and experience things I always enjoy them so I need to step out of my box more.
I’m hoping I’ve learned from my mistakes because holy smokes I made a doozy of one last year. It all turned out okay but I still think about it and it still rolls around in my head on those nights I can’t quite get to sleep.
And OMG I need to be less paranoid.
This is turning into a bit of a resolution type of thing isn't it. Do you make New Year’s resolutions? That's not what it's meant to be at all because I don't need wide sweeping changes. I also don’t really believe in making resolutions just because the calendar changed. I like myself. I like the work I’ve put in. I can decide to change something on any day, week or month...
...or even any year.
So, friends, in this new year, 2023, I'm going to be mostly the same me but a better me because we can all strive to be better. I just want to be a better me now and always.
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