1980 - Something

Picture it.

The Christmas mixed tape is playing on the home stereo with the same songs I enjoy to this day; Jim Reeves, Buck Owens and The Chipmunks. Dad is bringing all the decoration boxes from the basement. In the box there’d be some miscellaneous newspapers from Christmases past which always mystified me. We assemble the Christmas tree and Dad strings the full size string of lights carefully on each branch.  The sky is a rose gold in the setting sun, the snow outside is light and sparkly and there’s the faint smell of the heat from the lights touching the plastic branches.  They don’t make candles to recreate that festive smell do they.

It’s nineteen-eighty-something and completely magical.

There were some Christmases that we had two Christmas trees.  We had the artificial one in the basement and a real tree upstairs.  Dad’s brilliant trick to filling in the bare spots on the real tree was to take a branch from the bottom, drill a hole where the bare spot was and attach the branch.  It’s a trick I think he got from my Grandpa.

The decorations were a mixture of shiny baubles, felt ornaments and things we made. One decoration was always a small bell with a blue ribbon that I think had something to do with my brother (his birthday is Christmas Day) but I don’t know what.  There was silver garland and not tinsel because that was too messy.  The tree topper was a multi coloured star.  At the bottom of the tree rested a small plastic manger scene.

Some years Dad would want to hang streamers and foil stars from the ceiling. Mom would protest…”what are you doing that for?”…but often let him get his way.  There’d be a wreath that hung on the back door window that made the curtain puff out kind of funny.

My fuzzy Christmas stocking would rest on the arm of the couch. We didn’t have a fireplace or chimney. I hoped Santa had a key.  

It was probably a Sunday evening in December and when we were done we’d sit in the dark with just the retro glow of the Christmas tree and soft music playing. The next morning, getting ready to go to school, the tree would be lit up in its comforting glow in the coolness of winter. 

Everything would be ready and waiting for Mr Claus’ annual visit.

Rising From the Ashes

I've always had a different perspective of September 11th.  I tried to explain what that day means to me in a blog written 2 years ago The Day the World Kept Turning.  You see, September 11th is my Mom's birthday.  For several years these two occasions have left me with mixed feelings.  I have a sense of devastation and celebration.  It's very confusing to feel and explain.

I don't know when Hubby and I decided that we should go to New York for our spring vacation.  I don't think I always wanted to go, but it seems like I've wanted to travel there for what seems like five years.....maybe more.  I even tried to convince Hubby that we should go at Christmas time so we could visit Times Square and see the ball drop.  Instead, we found a great deal on Expedia shortly after Christmas this year and visited New York for 10 days over Easter.

New York is an amazing and incredible city.  We stayed in Queens just a short jaunt from the subway.  We decided to do all our travelling via subway or the foot-mobile.  It was the only way to truly experience the city.  I'd see people from all walks of life.  Everyone was eager to help giving directions.  I never felt like my safety was in question.  

The new World Trade Center construction.

Whenever we took a tour, the guide was sure to point out where the Twin Towers stood.  The gap in the skyline is obvious.  One tour guide said that no one should ever call it Ground Zero again.  He said that Ground Zero refers to a place of chaos and devastation.  When you look at the World Trade Center site now, there is rebirth.  The 9/11 Memorial is open and the new buildings are taking shape.  It is now a place of remembrance and hope.

On our final day of our trip we went to the 9/11 Memorial.  Visitors must book a time online ahead of time.  Then you go to the Visitor Center and claim your ticket.  You have a certain window of time to be there.  We were ahead of time so we visited St. Paul's Chapel where the firemen, policemen, and other responders took refuge in the days after the collapse.  

WTC 2 Reflecting Pool

There is an immense amount of security at most New York land marks.  At the 9/11 Memorial there is airport like security, but once cleared, the Memorial is breathtaking.  In each acre footprint there are reflection pools.  Around each pool, engraved in bronze, are the names of the victims.  It's very tactile.  You can touch each name.  Some of them look familiar from seeing them on documentaries.  What is most striking is the life the site is bringing to the city of New York.  The trees are growing, children are there laughing and just beyond the memorial the new World Trade Center building is taking shape.

I look forward to a time when the security restrictions are lifted and one can walk down the street and stop to gaze into the memorial pools.  I look forward to a day when I no longer dread that my Mom has to share this day with something so tragic.  Everyone deserves to move forward because the City of New York has found that courage for us and has risen from the ashes.

Postcards - The Staten Island 9/11 Memorial

The Day the World Kept Turning

Through my early morning grogginess I could hear the newscast. My brain was foggy and just before I moved to slap the snooze mutton I heard the following:

A plane has hit the world trade centre.

There were no details – just the phrase and it didn't make any sense in my sleepy head and I finally reached out to push snooze.

Ten minutes later, the radio alarm sounded again and this time I did wake up - Wake up to confusion – that is. The radio still had no details as I quickly got ready for my retail day. It was another time and place. Once ready I descended the stairs to the main floor of my dream house. I switched on the television to more confusion. It took the clues from the radio and TV for me to comprehend some kind of story of what had happened on that beautiful sunny autumn day of September 11^th, 2001.

I phoned Hubby who was working.....commuting weekly.....an hour and a half away. “A very bad thing has happened.” He said leaving a pause. “I can't talk right now.”

I called my parents after that.

I left for work at the Gateway Mall. Everybody was talking about what happened and trying to make sense of it all. Mall traffic was really low and sales were slow. The UPS man brought us our shipment and he gave us an update from the news. There was someone from the bookstore who brought in a printout from a Nostradamus book.

What you have to understand is that September 11^th has a different meaning to me. Yes, this was a horrific event in America's history and it left our souls forever changed. Yes, I felt immense sadness for the lives lost. Yes, it was incredibly shocking. But for me and my family September 11^th is a day of celebration. It is my Mom's birthday.

That evening at my parents house CNN was on TV and we kept watching the buildings fall. It was all so overwhelming. And here we were to celebrate a birthday. We turned it all off. We ceased talking about it. We opened presents and ate birthday cake just as we would on any other birthday.

Ever since I have mixed feelings on this date. This big bad event happened and amongst the sadness, remorse, and guilt we kept living. We kept living while other lives were abruptly halted. The world grieved as others lived. On that September 11^th, 2001 there were babies born, anniversaries celebrated and family birthday parties held.

Its just a date. A date that so easily could have been September 10^th or September 12^th.....but, no, it wasn't – It was my Mom's birthday.

This year, as we remember the anniversary of those lost in that terrorist attack, also know that for many the world did not stop.....know that it kept revolving.....and keeps turning.....on that beautiful autumn day.